telans выписала 6288 цитат

There is no sexuality unaffected by experiences of attachment, bonding, and affection. Our greatest emotional pleasures often come with overcoming the pain of our trials and errors—from solving puzzles to facing a fear and finding courage, to opening a heart that has been closed.

My definition of passionate love isn’t the fairy-tale rendition of romantic love where everything is always coming up roses. A passionate love isn’t a free pass around the relationship board. A couple may love each other passionately, but they still will have to overcome the challenges of being a couple, and sometimes…

In a relationship, commitment is a choice we make every single day, over and over again. We choose it even when we are tired and overworked and stressed out. We choose it no matter what attractive person crosses our path. We also choose it every time our partner makes a bid for attention and we put down our book, or look…

Increase attention rather than pressure. Fill up before you extend outward. Follow your desire until turn-on flows. If it feels like work, change the stroke. When in doubt, play. Such a switch requires nothing less than a reworking of your entire relationship to your own desire. Taking desire from the cranky passenger in…

Regular Sex / Slow Sex Looking good / Feeling good Guidebooks, rules, and instructions / Native wisdom Obligation / Desire Fantasizing / Attention to sensation Making sex happen / Letting sex happen Volume / Potency Increasing sensation through pressure / Increasing sensation through attention Linear / Meandering…

... It means learning to savor an experience that we are used to pushing through. When we take climax as our goal—rather than simply feeling each stroke along the way—we tend to crash through sex, picking up speed as we go. It’s like we’re pushing through a windstorm, striving to reach the finish line. As a result, we…

I am always surprised when I talk to new coaching clients and discover how very little communication they have during sex. Communication is connection. Honest, revealing dialogue opens our interior world so that another person can actually know us deeply.

My grandma was teaching me the most important lesson of cooking, but also of living: anything you really get into relationship with will reveal its secrets to you. All you have to do is stand in the kitchen with an open mind and heart, recognizing the honor of cooking food for your family. The recipe will come. This is a…

The men desperately (more desperately than their partners can possibly imagine) want to be better at pleasing their women. On the surface level, they know that the more she’s getting out of sex, the more often they’ll have it. The deeper desire they have—which many of them aren’t even aware of—is the desire to have sex…

...we learn to shift our focus from thinking to feeling, from a goal orientation to an experience orientation. This shift turns all our expectations about sex on their head, exchanging “faster” and “harder” for “slower” and “more connected.” There is no longer any planned outcome to sex, no goal—not even climax—that is…

When you adopt the habit of filling each parting with a conscious affirmation of love, you will fill each parting with a tenderness that will carry through the day.

How would your life be different if you focused on the abundance of love that you have to give rather than on what you feel you need?

If your relationship were a plant, what condition would you say describes it? Dry? Blooming? Wilted? Robust? Like a plant, your relationship needs regular tender loving care. It needs the soil of everyday connection, the nutrients of focused attention, and the sunlight of love. Watering your plant once or twice a year…

What if I don’t feel like being loving? Then “fake it ’til you make it.” Neuroscience has demonstrated that our feelings and our behaviors are connected. Just as changes in how you feel lead to changes in how you behave, so do changes in how you behave lead to changes in how you feel. That holds true for being nice, for…

It is never easy to lose your beloved, whether you have been together for two years or twenty. When you do find yourself at his or her funeral, all you can think is that you wished you had a little bit more time together. All you want is one more hug, one more kiss, one more night beside your dear one. The lesson from…

As if modern living weren’t enough to challenge the romantic relationship, as time passes, couples seem to forget how to bring out the best in each other. The once-doting lovers start to take each other for granted, and eventually, they simply ignore each other. Less time together combines with poor quality time together…

Our relentless career focus, extended families, children, hobbies, and the uncompromising pace of modern life erode the essential fabric of intimacy in the primary couple. The “couple bubble” has no sanctuary. While in the beginning of a relationship the couple bubble is prized and protected, for many couples, the bubble…

Love may be hard to define but there are three components that are essential to making love extraordinary: connection, communication, and intimacy. • Connection—feeling close to your lover, bonded, united in your approach to life; often having shared interests and values; a sense of being linked that goes beyond this world;…

Этого я больше всего не люблю в людях — ледяной иронии. Это трусость; все можно высмеять, никогда ничем не интересоваться, не чувствовать себя ничем связанным. Жить, как импотент, который сам никогда не изведает наслаждения, однако сделает все, чтобы оно стало отталкивающим для других. Ледяная ирония — это главное орудие…

Треба уважно дивитися й слухати, зіставляти факти. Бачити схожість там, де інші вбачають цілковиту відмінність, пам’ятати, що певні події відбуваються на різних рівнях або, інакше кажучи, багато подій є аспектами одного й того ж. І що світ — це велика мережа, цілісність, і немає жодної речі, яка б існувала окремо. Що…

Вони називалися Колодяжні. Я довго роздумувала, чи не дати їм якесь інше, своє прізвисько, проте потім погодилася з тим, що це один із двох відомих мені випадків, коли прізвище пасує до Людини. Це справді були люди з колодязя — такі, що впали до нього давно й зараз на його дні влаштовували своє життя, гадаючи, що колодязь…

Я глянула на чорно-білий краєвид Плоскогір’я й зрозуміла, що сум — важливе слово в понятті світу. Він основа всього, п’ята стихія, квінтесенція сущого.

Вечером я наблюдаю за Венерой, тщательно слежу за изменениями, происходящими с этой прекрасной Панной. Я люблю ее как Вечернюю Зарю, которая появляется словно ниоткуда, как по волшебству, и опускается вниз за Солнцем. Искра вечного света. Именно в Сумерках происходят самые интересные вещи, потому что тогда исчезают…

Меня будоражат спутниковые фотографии и кривизна Земли. Значит, это правда, что мы живем на поверхности шара, открытые перед всеми планетами, покинутые посреди огромной пустоты, в которой после Падения свет собрался в мелкие крошки и рассыпался? Это правда. Нам следует об этом ежедневно напоминать, потому что это…