“Why would I be nervous about that? It’s no big deal. It’s nothing special—we’re just two dudes who are dating. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“So … you’re terrified, then?”
“Quietly shitting myself, yes.”

“See this?” Mom asks my brothers, pointing at us. “This is the standard of partner you need to bring home. Anyone else gay? Bi? Pan? We need some more hockey players to round out the family.”

“And you win.” Jacobs still hasn’t caught his breath. “Power bottom of the year goes to you.”
“I’d like to thank the academy and my agent for this award.”