Цитаты из книги The Coaching Habit

Один из законов изменений:

Как только вы пробуете что-то новое, обязательно с какой-нибудь стороны возникнет сопротивление.

Указывай меньше и спрашивай больше.

Твой совет не так хорош,

Как ты считаешь.

Предположим, что, пока вы спите, произойдет чудо. Когда вы проснетесь завтра утром, как вы поймете, что жизнь внезапно стала лучше?

To have transformative conversations, you need to make people feel safe.

Foggy-fiers are conversational traps that – much like fog – can hide what’s really going on. The good news is that the sooner you learn to spot them, the sooner you can blow them away.

By asking questions, you’ll notice something important start to shift: instead of being ruled by your Advice Monster, you’ll begin to adopt a coaching habit – which means you’re more interested in helping to identify challenges than coming up with perfect answers.

People will do anything to try and avoid having a vulnerable conversation.

By starting to ask great questions, you nurture the most important quality you can have as a leader: curiosity. By taking the time to listen to the people around you, you give them the space to tune into their own inner wisdom, and build a sense of autonomy and purpose.

Once we get a reply to our first question, we need to quash the urge to jump in with advice, and instead ask follow-ups like "What else?” This simple question is so powerful because it forces people to dig deeper, and reveal any underlying challenges they might have missed.

Beginning a conversation by asking “What’s on your mind?” allows the other person to answer in any way they choose.

Questions starting with phrases like “Wouldn’t you agree...” or “Don’t you think...” are actually just statements pretending to be questions. They close the conversation down.

So how do we learn to ask good questions? The most important thing is to keep them short and simple, and make sure that they are genuinely open-ended.

Stressful situations can trigger our Advice Monsters.

So how can we get rid of these monsters?
The bad news is that we can’t – they’re part of our personalities. They actually developed to help us deal with difficult emotions. Getting rid of them would be denying important parts of ourselves.
The good news is that while we can’t get rid of them, we can tame them – and make them work with us instead of against us.

Giving unwanted advice gets in the way of finding real solutions.

Those of us who constantly give advice are our own worst enemies.

чем сильнее теряешь концентрацию, тем более загруженным себя чувствуешь. И наоборот: чем более загруженным себя чувствуешь, тем сильнее теряешь концентрацию.

Первое отклонение - это ошибка планирования. Мы не умеем рассчитывать затраты времени на то или иное задание. Не просто переоцениваем возможности, но и недооцениваем, насколько себя переоцениваем. Думаем, что можем сделать гораздо больше, чем способны на самом деле.

Суть стратегии в том, чтобы выбрать, чего не делать