Цитаты из книги The Miserable Mill

Если вам довелось пережить хоть одну неприятность, то вам, вероятно, говорили, что утром вам станет лучше. Это, разумеется, полнейший вздор, потому что неприятность остается неприятностью даже прекраснейшим утром.

Граф Олаф, вы арестованы за многочисленные убийства и покушения на убийства, многочисленные мошенничества и покушения на мошенничества, многочисленные презренные деяния и покушения на презренные деяния

- Вы живы. Потому и счастливчики.

It is true, of course, that you never know. A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.

Утро — важное время суток, поскольку то, как вы проводите утро, зачастую может сказать вам, каким будет ваш день.

When you are trying to figure out a difficult problem—such as the problem of trying to get your brother unhypnotized so as not to be placed into the hands of a greedy man disguised as a receptionist—it is often helpful to discuss the problem with other people in order to come up with a quick and useful solution.

In the days that followed, the Baudelaire orphans had pits in their stomachs. In Sunny's case it was understandable, because when Klaus had divided up the peach, she had gotten the part with the pit.

As I’m sure you know, whenever there is a mirror around, it is almost impossible not to take a look at yourself. Even though we all know what we look like, we all like just to look at our reflections, if only to see how we’re doing.

For instance, if an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say, in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well, this isn't too bad. I don't have my left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ever ask me whether I am right-handed or left-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaah! My arm! My arm!"

<...>

"Well," he said, "this isn't too bad. My left leg is broken, but at least I'm right-legged. That's pretty fortunate."

Everything and everybody has a good side.

Sometimes, when somebody says something so strange that you don't know what to say in return, it is best to just politely say "How do you do?"

They didn't know, but I know and I wish they knew, if you know what I mean.

Если бы аллигатор отъел оптимисту левую руку, тот мог бы сказать приятным и полным надежд голосом: «Ну что ж, это не так плохо. У меня больше нет левой руки, но зато теперь никто не будет донимать меня вопросом, левша я или правша".

На моей табличке написано «Босс», и босс — это я.

— Если на вашей левой щиколотке нет татуированного глаза, — сказал мистер По, — то вы определенно не Граф Олаф.

“Listen to this, Sunny," she said, when her sister opened her eyes. "'Once a subject has been hypnotized, a simple hmmm word will make him or her perform whatever hmmm acts any hmmm wants hmmmed.'" "Hmmm?" Sunny asked. "Those are the words I don't know" Violet explained.”

Raisins are healthy, and they are inexpensive, and some people may even find them delicious. But they are rarely considered helpful.