4 Угарные диалоги сделали историю

Жил-был чувак-владелец казино. Жил не тужил. Денег вагон, социальная ответственность -ниже некуда. Мудак редкостный. И в один прекрасный день местный криминальный авторитет выставляет ему ультиматум: отдавай казино по-хорошему, а то заберу по-плохому. 7 дней тебе на все, про все.

Закручинился мудак и подумал: а не нанять ли мне киллера, чтобы проблемку порешал. Но такой крутой киллер только один в окрестностях, да и тот работает только на тех, кто ему нравится. А у нашего мудака опция "likable" не предусмотрена.

Как быть, что делать? И кто виноват?

Слушала аудиоверсию и угорала. Это реально смешно. Никакой романтики не надо. Дайте больше прикольных диалогов.

– Ready?
– Now?
– Yeah, now. I`m a busy man. There`s an anime I like that comes on at midnight that I really don`t want to miss.
– Excuse me? Are you...
– Don`t dis the show until you try it.
– Do I look like I  watch cartoons?
– They`re not cartoons. Oh, God, don`t get me started on this. You`re going to have me all riled up. Now you`re coming over to my place and we`re watching some true TV, you hear me? And I`m going to teach you how to play video games.
– So... you think by making sure my last week on earth is hell, you`re preparing me for life after death?
– Exactly!

– Why the hell are you sitting so close to me?
– I`d think you`d love that! I mean... if someone came in to kill you, the bullet would have to go through my body first. I could just... throw myself over you in a heroic act. It would be the greatest love story never written.
– That`s true. Please make sure you jump in front of any bullets for me.

– I don`t watch senseless TV.
– Oh, no... you`re just... you`re just so manly, what`ll you ever do if you watch TV! What if it makes it harder for  you to growl at people?
– You`re not funny.
– Come in.
– I don`t want to come in.
– Then stand out in my hallway and breathe heavily outside mt door.

– You do look a little… glistening. And not in a sexy way.
– I’m sweating.
– Sounds gross.
– The thought of being murdered is starting to sound better. Imagine if I walked up all these stairs only to get offed when I get to the top. I’ll die looking miserable.
– I’ll make sure to fix your hair before your body is picked up.
– Thanks. You’re so helpful.

– Is my place good to go back to?
– I don’t think you should go back to your place where people were waiting to rip your nails off last time. Do you not like your nails?

– Did you hit your head?
– No, but I got kicked in it repeatedly.
– Clearly explains the trauma and the romantic things you’re saying.

– I think there’s something wrong with me.
– What’s wrong with you? Allergic to stairs?

8 социально ответственных наемников из 10

Больше интересного на AllUNeedIsBook