CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Bella Swan’s favourite book? You know, from Twilight?

(Bookseller sighs and pulls a copy of Wuthering Heights off the shelf)

CUSTOMER: Do you have the one with the cover that looks like Twilight?

BOOKSELLER: No. This is an antiquarian bookshop, so this is an old edition of the book.

CUSTOMER: But it’s still the one with that girl Cathy and the dangerous guy, right?

BOOKSELLER: Yes, it’s still the story by Emily Bronte.

CUSTOMER: Right. Do you think they’ll make it into a film?

BOOKSELLER: They’ve made several films of it. The one where Ralph Fiennes plays Heathcliff is very good.

CUSTOMER: What? Voldemort plays Heathcliff?

BOOKSELLER: Well . . .

CUSTOMER: But that’s Edward’s role.

BOOKSELLER: Wuthering Heights was written well before both Harry Potter and Twilight.

CUSTOMER: Yeah, but Voldemort killed Cedric, who’s played by Robert Pattinson, and now Voldemort’s playing Edward’s role in Wuthering Heights, because because Edward’s character is Heathcliff. I think that Emily Bronte’s trying to say something about vampires.

BOOKSELLER: . . . that’s £8.

CUSTOMER: For what?

BOOKSELLER: For the book.

CUSTOMER: Oh, no, it’s OK, I’m going to go and try and find the Voldemort DVD version.