Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story

I learned a big lesson that day: The truth hurts, especially when it’s coming out of your mom’s mouth.

Some nights I would go to sleep hoping I wouldn't wake up. Other nights I would go to sleep scared, hoping that I wouldn't die.

You see, I was a master at hiding my pain and anguish from absolutely everyone. I was always the one who made everyone laugh—everyone except myself that is.

Since I toured so much with Korn, I often had to do my real estate business while I was on the road. One day I was on tour and I called Eric to talk about some business. I wound up getting into a conversation with him about my life and how hard it was finding a balance between the band and my daughter. I told him how I was…

Speed (meth). <...> I had done speed a couple of times with some friends back in Bako, so I knew that when you snorted it, it instantly took away your drunkenness. It also takes away your sleepiness. And then it takes your mind. And your body. And your soul.

My life. What a trip it’s been so far. Like most people, I’ve had enough ups and downs in my life to drive a man crazy. Like most people, my heart has been beaten up pretty badly throughout the years by myself and by others. Like most people, many of the things that I’ve chased after in my life have left me feeling empty…

He started talking to the interpreter, who relayed his story to us. "I have five daughters." He reached down, grabbed a handful of sand, and said, "This is all i have to feed them."

Then Tarroon said with a big Indian smile, "If they want to kill us, let them kill us. Then we will be laughing with the Lord Jesus in heaven!" Then he started laughing joyfully at the thought of going to heaven.

It didn't help that one of the guys with us started talking in this worried voice saying, "These people are ferocious headhunters!" This was not exactly good news for someone whose name is Head.