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Laugh till you cry in this new collection of stories from the award-winning “Serena Williams of humor writing” (New York Times Book Review) about raising babies and trying not to be one.

Called a “comedic Godsend” by Conan O’Brien and “the Stephen King of comedy writing” by John Mulaney, Simon Rich is back with New Teeth, his funniest and most personal collection yet.

Two murderous pirates find a child stowaway on board and attempt to balance pillaging with co-parenting. A woman raised by wolves prepares for her parents’ annual Thanksgiving visit. An aging mutant superhero is forced to learn humility when the mayor kicks him upstairs to a desk job. And in the hard-boiled caper “The Big Nap,” a weary two-year-old detective struggles to make sense of “a world gone mad.”

Equal parts silly and sincere, New Teeth is an ode to growing up, growing older, and what it means to make a family.

"Небеса Инкорпорейтед" – чрезвычайно плохо управляемая корпорация на небесах. Ее основатель и генеральный директор (известный в некоторых кругах как Бог) проводит бо льшую часть своего времени на поле для гольфа. Он не решает мировых проблем, вместо этого он гуглит самого себя и постоянно сидит в различных блогах, чтобы узнать, что о нем думают люди.
Когда Бог решает уйти в отставку, он также решает уничтожить Землю. Все сотрудники с готовностью воспринимают новости, за исключением Крейга и Элизы – двух ангелов в почти заброшенном Департаменте чудес. В отличие от своего босса, ангелы любят свою работу и отказываются признать, что Земля должна погибнуть.
Ангелам удается заключить сделку со своим боссом. Он отзовет свой Армагеддон, если они смогут сотворить чудо: заставить двух самых неуклюжих людей на планете влюбиться друг в друга. У ангелов есть две недели, чтобы соединить несоединимое и доказать, что человечество вовсе не безнадежно.

A hilarious collection inspired by a former Saturday Night Live writer's real experiences in Hollywood, chronicling the absurdity of fame and the humanity of failure in a world dominated by social media influencers and reality TV stars.
Simon Rich is "one of the funniest writers in America" (Daily Beast)--a humorist who draws comparisons to Douglas Adams (New York Times Book Review) and James Thurber and P.G. Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all.
Inspired by Rich's real experiences in Hollywood, Hits and Misses chronicles all the absurdity of fame and success alongside the heartbreaking humanity of failure. From a bitter tell-all by the horse Paul Revere rode to greatness to a gushing magazine profile of everyone's favorite World War II dictator, these stories roam across time and space to skewer our obsession with making it big--from the days of ancient Babylon to the age of TMZ.

Welcome to Heaven, Inc., the grossly mismanaged corporation in the sky. For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. His employees take the news in stride, except for Craig and Eliza, two underpaid angels in the lowly Department of…

Simon Rich dazzled readers with his absurdist sense of humor in his hilarious collections Ant Farm and Free-Range Chickens. Now comes Rich’s rollicking debut novel, which explores the strangest, most twisted, and comically fraught terrain of them all: high school. Seymour Herson is the least popular student at Glendale, a private school in Manhattan. He’s painfully shy, physically inept, and his new nickname, “Chunk-Style,” is in danger of entering common usage. But Seymour’s solitary existence comes to a swift end when he meets the new transfer student: Elliot Allagash, evil heir of America’s largest fortune. Elliot’s rampant…

In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon Rich finds humor in some very surprising places. Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with endless comic potential.

–If your girlfriend gives you some “love coupons” and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid?

–What kind of performance pressure does an endangered male panda feel when his captors bring the last remaining female panda to his cage?

–If murderers can get into heaven by accepting Jesus, just how awkward is it when they run into their victims?

Join Simon Rich as he explores the extraordinary and hilarious desperation that resides in ordinary life, from cradle to grave.

"Hilarious." -John Stewart